i couldn't help myself

screw doing this daily. i can't sleep. so this is really the only thing i can do.
and, as i promised,,,, about 20mins ago. here is my guide, to chavs
*queue cheesey intro music*

chav.

i found this extremely long but detailed explanation from urban dictionary. skip forwards if you already know what a chav is and just want me to et my lazy ass onto how to be one

Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index.


Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool.


Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.


All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police.


Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspring which their 13 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent.

HOW TO BE A CHAV (by charlotte bennett)

 

there is a strict dress code, if you consider becoming a chav. it consists of only tracksuits, trainers and if your female - anything tight, cheap and ill fitting. basically every chav thinks they are hot. even the cold ones.

also, becoming a chav requires a certain tone and disregard for queen's english.

words you should commanly use are;

maayte

boh

boii

babe

alright

wankaaaa!!!

butters

gel on

wasted out of my nut

now, the diet of a chav is also very restricting. under no circumstancs should anything healthy touch your lips. survive on chewing gum, cheap fast food, cigarettes and cheap alcohol.

finally - the last rule of being a chav is never waste a sperm. if it has a womb, impregnate it. if you have womb, get pregnant.

simple.

 

hope you all enjoyed that. i did, for some strange reason. next time.... i think i will talk about connections. not the careers service - as in how you connect and know people.

love you, you non-existant readers. ♥